(Mrs) Elmo’s World

Em-mo. Em-mo.

That’s the word we’ll never fail to hear everyday, coming from Ooyah. When there is a computer in sight, ANY computer (even the PC in a travel agency will not be spared), you’ll be sure to hear her recite “Em-mo? Em-mo!” which basically means, “I am not asking- I am DEMANDING to see the cute ELMO on that computer NOW!”

(ALL) the videos on the sesame workshop site has to be watched EVERYDAY. Lest she has nightmares in the middle of the night, crying out, what else- EMMO…EMMMMO!!!!

She knows all the songs sung by the red furry monster; singing Ocean Emotion and Imagination while feeding her babydoll. One good thing that has come out of it- she can sing the Alphabet song, thanks to the Elmo+ India Arie duet.

Okayyyyy. It was OUR fault, really. Introducing him to her. Filling the house with all sorts of Elmo memorabilia (???!!!) and showing her all the videos. It was our fault. But we have realized our big mistake, and we’re totally paying the price for it.

In the past few weeks, we have decided to put her through some form of Elmo-Cold-Turkey. We do not give in to her demands of Emmo Emmo Emmo (repeat that a million times, gradually increasing sound volume and pitch), and distracted her with other ‘baby icons’ for example Tinky Winky, Dipsy, Laa Laa and Po (affectionately known by her as Kiki, Lala and Popo). We do not mention his name in the house (we codename him ’Om Le’ - making him Mas Slamat’s sidekick)(Om and Mas? Get it?) and have hidden any doll/ poster/ image of him. Sorta an attempt to let her memory of him FADE AWAY.

So far, so good. On top of that, everyone in the Teban family have stepped up on the Anti-Elmo movement by telling her how ugly Elmo is (with his unkempt fur and big big eyes) and that Elmo the ‘Traitor’  ’makes daily calls to Teban to complain about her misdemeanours’. She reacts quite strongly to this (she ‘pok’/ slapped Elmo severely), aghast that Elmo has indeed called her Aunty Wati to tell her about how Aurelia Sarah had snatched a bottle of fish food, emptied half of the whole bottle into the tank (god save the fish’s gut) and the other half scattered all over the living room in retaliation. How else could Aunty Wati know of this? It was him alright. How could he tell on her?

So we thought her obsession with Elmo has lessened. Well we thought wrong.

Today she begged again to watch Emmo Emmo Emmo.
To cut the long story short- I. GIVE. UP.

Ooyah: Nenok Emmo! Emmo! EMMMM- MOOOOOO!!!!
Me: NO!
Ooyah: *SCREAMMMMMM*
Me: OKAYYYY! SAY ‘PLEASE’?
Ooyah: Peeeeeeeesss?
Me: PLEASE WHO?
Ooyah: Emmo.
Me: NO. PLEASE MAMA.
Ooyah: Peeeeessss Emmo.
Me: WHAT? PEEESSSS EMMO? Salah. Please MAMA.
Ooyah: Peeeeeeeessssssss EMMO. (getting impatient)
Me: Say MAMA.
Ooyah: MAAAAA MAAAA.
Me: Good. Please Mama?
Ooyah: PEEEEESSSSSSSSSS EMMO?

*dunks Elmo doll in toilet bowl*

I guess we’re not alone in this. Apparently, he is a very much-sought after KIDDY ICON (WHY????), admired and loved by kids all over the world. Enjoy.

Oh. My. Gawdddd. This baby actually looks pleased.

This one looks horrified actually. Who wouldn’t be if ELMO ate YOU up????

So basically, this is what we want to do to Elmo. Kids, brace yourself.

We can  make it look like suicide, can’t we?

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